Have you ever spun a top on a hardwood floor? You get a good spin on that sucker and it just keeps going, and going, and going.....sometimes it will hit a bit of grit, and it falters a bit. Usually it keeps going. Sometimes it spins out, and you have to start it again. But either way, with your own steam behind it, that little top just keeps on spinning and spinning.
I know - odd way to start a blog post. But I've had this recent....attack, I guess you could say, on my 'lifestyle'. Ya know, the one where I sometimes choose to go out and share a single drink with a group of friends at an adult location of my choosing. No concerns about the amount of drinking, but rather what I could be doing instead of it. Primarily that if I choose to have a drink with my friends, maybe that means that I am somehow taking less time with the Redheaded Rosie. The 'source' of the attack would come as no surprise to absolutely anyone that has any idea who I am, or anyone who has ever read this blog. Instead of being upset about it, I think I will use this springboard to address something we all are looking to work on everyday - balance in our lives.
To me, part of being a good parent is having that balance. I had a wonderful conversation last night that talked about finding that flame within yourself. Finding the thing that sets you on fire, that feeds your soul, and that being with a partner involves the synergistic growth of those flames. Not one shining more brightly or one taking over the other one, but two flames separately being fueled by their own combustible, and as a result creating a stronger, brighter relationship.
I think that being able to have a drink with your friends is important. I think deciding you are worth taking the time to do things like exercise is vital. I think that finding a hobby that fuels your soul is essential. I think that being YOU, and not the wife, mother, employee, student, friend, etc that you are labeled as is the only thing that makes this life a unique experience.
Look, my top is still a little wobbly. I don't have everything figured out. And I won't pretend to. But I kinda had the damn thing stopped in it's tracks a year ago. I had to restart that puppy back up. And it wasn't easy, and there have certainly been a few wobbly moments. But I refuse to sit here and apologize for that, so don't you dare ask me to. Don't fill my inbox with crap that attempts to 'hold me accountable'. Generalizations notwithstanding, I find it fascinating that those with the worst track records are the quickest to pass judgement on someone else' life.
So please - be kind. To yourself, to your friends, to your family members, acquaintances, total strangers and yes, even your enemies. Nobody likes to hear that they are a bad person, or a bad parent because they are just trying to find themselves again. Especially when attempting to find yourself is done on legitimate time. No one should ever have to apologize for choosing to be more than a single label. And quite frankly, I can't afford to do that. I don't even know who I really am. But I'll be damned if a few nasty emails or blog posts are gonna keep me from finding that out.