In (over) my head.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is get the fuck out of your own way.

I live in my head a lot. A LOT. I run things through my head looking for meaning, I re-live and re-tell myself the same scenarios and stories over and over and over.....

I don't like it.

I  just wish I was...cool. More able to accept things as they are. But a part of me feels like I would be missing out. I mean, I may be neurotic, but I am very emotionally invested. I realize that sometimes that is a flaw, but I would argue that it's usually a good thing to be emotionally involved in the things that are important enough for you to worry about that much in the first place. I suppose I like to know where I stand, and it bothers me when I am in the dark.

I have some really wonderful instructors at school - I may not love the program, but I have some great instructors. A few in particular have been exceptionally helpful. The last few weeks have been a particular challenge for me. A lot of different issues and problems have come up. My advisor is worried for me. Which I find both endearing and equally concerning. She isn't the type that seems to worry.

I might need to add a job to this crazy mix - and that sort of has me in a panic. I'm not sure when/how I will make that happen. But it's either that.....well no. There isn't an option, actually.

Tomorrow is another day. Maybe I'll be a little less in my head tomorrow. Always tomorrow.