Black as my Soul Tilapia

Yum. Be jealous. I had Blackened Tilapia, Roasted Potatoes and Baby Portabella Mushrooms for dinner. Want the recipe? I know you do.

Blackened Tilapia

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• 4-6 Tilapia
• 2 T Paprika
• 2 t Salt (or to taste)
• 2 t Lemon Pepper
• 1-1/2 t Garlic Powder
• 1-1/2 t Ground Red Pepper
• 1-1/2 t Dried, Crushed Basil
• 1 t Onion Powder
• 1 t Dried Thyme
• 1 C unsalted butter, melted

How to make it

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• Heat iron skillet on high 5 minutes.
• Mix all seasonings in a bowl.
• Dip fillets in melted butter and coat with seasonings. (I drizzle the spices on each piece of fish to get an even coating. Don't be afraid to coat heavily)!!
• Place fillets in hot skillet and cook 2 minutes on each side.
• Makes 4 servings.
• Enjoy!!!

And then, ya know - Baby Portabellas. Again. I know. You can be jealous. I will say - the cast iron skillet is vital to the fish. If you don't have one.....well get one. Not just for this recipe, there are SO many reasons to own a good, heavy bottom, cast iron skillet. Sometimes if you are lucky you can run across them at Goodwill.

I'm also pretty much exclusively using coconut oil for cooking now. I just love this stuff. The research on saturated fats just doesn't work out the way 'They' would like us to believe. Take the time to read it. And using something like corn/vegetable oil? Think about how much WORK has to go into making that. How much work do you think your body has to do to digest that? No thanks!

Mwah! Happy cooking.

When everything seems uncertain....

You can come home and make delicious Vegetarian Enchiladas.

I have this awesome friend that I go to nursing school with, and this is her recipe. I ran across it the other day while cleaning out my inbox (I had asked her for it) and decided that I MUST make it. Try it. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. I am going to simply copy and paste her email in (and add a few notes of my own).

Filling:
One large white onion, chopped (next time, if only for color, I will use a purple onion)
Two sweet peppers (yellow, red or orange), chopped (a green one would add even more color)
8 oz box of cherry tomatoes, cut in half
One can of black beans (drained and well rinsed)
Half of 8 oz bag of cheddar (you will use the second half on top)
Taco seasoning to taste (I used about half of packet of taco seasoning)
8 Burrito sized tortillas
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Saute the onions and peppers until just tender (still slightly crunchy) and then mix together in a big bowl with the rest of the ingredients. (I used coconut oil, about a T to saute the veggies)

Fill eight tortillas, roll up tight and place them in a 9x13 baking dish. Cover with an entire jar of Frontera enchilada sauce (Frontera sauce really makes a huge difference ... it's the tastiest and everything else tastes like butt compared to it, in my opinion). Sprinkle the remaining half of the bag of cheddar on top. Bake at 375 for 30 minutes, and you're done.

I completely agree with her notes on the Frontera Sauce. Unless you have another favorite, you should really try that one. I choose to only make 6 of them, and reserve the remaining filling to put into a Quesadilla the next day. They. Are. AMAZING. I serve them on top of a bed of lettuce with some sour cream. If you are trying to stick to a slimmer amount of calories, you could do them in smaller tortillas, you could use 2% cheese, and I used about a tablespoon of coconut oil to saute the veggies in, you could either use less, or use something a bit lighter. You could serve a decent size salad and you'd be good.  

Because I know that I would be curious - here is the nutritional info. I don't have an after picture. They were gone before I could get the camera out.

Calories		375.1
Total Fat		14.9 g
	Saturated Fat	8.5 g
	Polyunsaturated Fat	0.4 g
	Monounsaturated Fat	2.8 g
Cholesterol		29.8 mg
Sodium		826.4 mg
Potassium		336.5 mg
Total Carbohydrate		44.5 g
	Dietary Fiber	6.5 g
	Sugars	3.3 g
Protein		16.5 g

Hard Week

Lots of .... stuff happened this week. And, at the same time, nothing happened at all.

The Rose has been with her Daddy for the last 10 days. It's been hard to say the least. If you noticed me online a lot more than usual, well that would be why. I knew it wasn't going to be fun, but it was REALLY hard. I missed her. She apparently, gives me a reason to kinda get up and out of bed. And change clothes. Which explains why I haven't really left the house too much, LOL!

The other major reason would have to be because it's my finals week. Lots of studying. But not enough. I got sucked into too many....shall we say side projects? I spent way too much time indulging in the solitude, and not enough time cracking the books. We'll see how my grades reflect.

I cleaned, I made a mess, then I cleaned again. I made a youtube play list. Eh. It happened. And it's about 20 minutes from being over. Then - we head to Michigan for a week. And I am leaping out of my skin excited.

Braised Cucumbers are indeed - a Revelation!

So, one of my favorite movies is Julie and Julia. The story of both women spoke to me in different ways. Meryl Streep's performance was brilliant. Amy Adams was also marvelous, although I have to admit that while I both connect with her character and think she did a great job, I found her character to be a wee bit self-centered even when she wasn't supposed to be anymore. But, it's a minor issue.

At one point, during a dinner party that Julie was throwing, she holds up a fork and says "Braised cucumbers are a revelation." The idea of cucumbers.....braised....huh. That's an odd idea. So, I went about Googling the recipe (because I still don't actually own a copy of the cookbook!).  I found several different sources that all had the same recipe listed, stating that it was straight from the cookbook. So, I saddled up to the stove, recipe in hand, and faced down the locally grown cucumbers I had gotten from The Berry Patch in Nevada, IA.

Braised Cucumbers

1 huge cucumber (or 2 regular sized)
1 tablespoon butter
1 dash salt
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 pinch dried mint

Put skillet on burner to preheat at medium.
Peel cucumber. Cut into quarters and remove seeds. Cut into 1 inch pieces.
Melt butter in a pan and add cucumber. Cover and cook about 8 minutes on medium heat.
Stir in salt, lemon, and mint. Cover and cook another 3 minutes.

I was oddly nervous about dropping cut up cucumber into melted butter in a skillet. It just felt....wrong. But it was so right. And delicious. I might go so far as to say sumptuous. 

I would say, next time, I will cook them a bit longer. They got to the translucent stage, but never really hit browned on the edges, which I should have waited for. It's kinda hard to describe the taste - sort of like delicious, buttery pickles, but without the sour taste. Almost like a banana taste. I will make them again. Oh yes.

I feel so....boring!

My entire life could be summed up in about 3 sentences right now. I studied today. I miss my kid when she's gone and am crazy about her when she's here. I am stressed out. Yup, those 3 will do.

There is another thing though....and I do this every single time I am halfway or most of the way through something....nursing school sucks. Of course I will finish it. Of course I will keep on truckin'. But I feel like I am being dragged kicking and screaming through the entire program. And, at first I thought it was just nursing school in general, but the more I talk to other nurses, and other people in different schools, and people that graduated from different schools, the more I realize. Mercy College is kind of an awful program.

The thing that bothers me the most is that I was actually told, by several different instructors and advisors, that the only people that tend to do well in the program are the people that also have the ability to work as a Patient Care Tech at the hospital. Hmm. So, in order for me to pass your program and feel comfortable or even remotely knowledgeable during clinical, I have to get a job and basically put in more hours there? And yet, we are counseled heavily upon admission that we shouldn't have any kind of job. So....if I have to get information and skills outside of the program, does that mean that your program isn't adequate? Because that's what it says to me.

The other thing that sorta kills me is that you are absolutely supposed to take THIS exact class during THIS exact term. Well, that's awesome.....until the only two sections that are being offered overlap with the nursing classes that you have to take. Um, guys? Are people talking to each other?

Due to the Catholic nature of this college, there are a lot of topics that are just glossed over too. Primarily anything that has to do with sex, birth control, or other cultures/religions. Well, ya know what? Even if it is a Catholic college stemming from a Catholic hospital, there are things we will encounter regardless of whether or not there is a giant cross on the side of the building.

So, I'm not bored with the material. I'm not bored with being in school. I'm pissed that I choose a horrible program. HORRIBLE. So, what now? I'm actually nervous that I am going to leave this program as a bad nurse. I suppose I will just have to suck it up, and find other sources to fill in the gaps. I'm just....not sure how to do that. If anyone has any ideas, I am open to suggestions.

Come on baby light my fire...

In a lot of ways, I feel like being a single parent has made me a better parent.

That's kind of a bold statement, but it's true. Having to be completely responsible for my daughter, my home, my finances, my world in general...I have had to step it up. I was never the type of person who liked to take out the trash, or do the dishes for that matter. But, obviously I have to do those things. And, there is something really awesome about the fact that I feel like I am more organized and more put together than I was before. I've had to plan my day out, plan my studying schedule, plan my meals out a bit more.

The one area that I love the most is that because I don't have anyone else to count on to do it, we have had a better overall routine with Redheaded Rosie. Bed time is very routine now, we are doing better about 'little' things like brushing teeth, washing faces etc.

We are also eating NIGHT AND DAY better. We used to eat a lot of crap to be brutally honest. And wasted a lot of money. The nice thing about this is that I have dropped some weight, I feel better, and I am working on me. Which is something I haven't done for a long time. I am doing a bit of a juice fast. Which in all reality is just juicing a lot, and eating as cleanly and close to pure as I can with a lot of fruits and vegetables and some nuts here and there. But, for the next 2 weeks, most of my calories are coming from green juice. Autumn has been an amazing little champ - helping me juice and drinking it herself to, which makes me feel great.

BUT.......but. Damn it there has to be a but....

I don't know. I seem to have a shorter fuse. I seem to have a less patience for the normal everyday things that the Redhead does as well. Normal, adorable chattering that should be something of every parents fondest memories, is annoying. I feel like an awful Mother for saying all of this. We have a lot more time together than we have ever had before, and for whatever reason my patient is just not there. I feel like I have fire in my eyes sometimes.

My daughter is a treasure. And my time with her is also a gift. So, why can't I shake the irritation, the flying into rage, the absolute annoyance at her normal everyday kindergartener behavior? We are seriously butting heads right now. Everything is followed with a 'why?' right now. And I am not the kind of person who deals well with being questioned, which I absolutely hate about myself.

I am hoping, that just by having this realization, maybe I can become more aware of it. I need to take a deep breath, and just love my daughter for who she is. And remember that she is at a place of learning and growing and expanding. So, why should I expect her to be a mind reader, or to be satisfied with a 'because I said so' mentality?

I am going to work on it. One day at a time, eh?

30 Days - What would my episode be?

I've been watching a few episodes of 30 Days. If you don't know about it, this is a show on the FX network (I think it ran for 3 seasons or so) by Morgan Spurlock, the man who made the documentary Supersize Me. Good stuff. I liked the documentary, it was an interesting and somewhat lighthearted look at just how awful processed and fast food is for us.

He went on to create this show. The premise of this show is to put someone with a very firmly held view on a controversial topic in a home/environment with the person who thinks completely opposite from them for a period of 30 days.

Some of the episodes I have watched (streaming on Netflix) -

Prolife
Gun Control
New Age
30 Days in a Wheelchair
30 Days in Jail
30 Days at Minimum Wage
Immigrants

And there are several more. I think the hardest one for me to watch was the episode on Gay couples have children (see below, aren't they ADORABLE????). They moved in a Mormon woman who had VERY strong views on gay and lesbian couples. She felt that their lifestyle was horrifically wrong. She felt that them having children was a horrible abomination. And over the course of the 30 days, she never opened up, never had a DISCUSSION. It was always a fight, with her being very defensive and close minded. It was hard to watch. The two men that she lived with for the 30 days were still in contact with several of the kids they had adopted. They adopted children through the foster care system. And....while some had reservations, they all ended up loving these two men and being grateful that they had adopted their children.

So I was wondering, what would my 30 Day Experience be? What issue do I feel so strongly about that I would have to go and attempt to have my mind open for 30 days? I'm just not sure. Honestly doing the inverse of above might be a good challenge. A very super conservative christian household? Pro-life maybe? I don't know. I just don't know about what would bring me to tears, or cause me to say or do things that I might not want to show the world. Some of these people that are put into these episodes just....embarrass themselves.

So, I'm not sure. I just don't know what my 'episode' would be. How about you?